Complaints of a Girl in Love

…and all the joys that come once I realize what love really is

Month: September, 2013

Goodnight?

She broke his heart I guess, but he won’t tell me about it. Which made me cry, if we’re being honest here, and I do hope we are. For the first time, he really wouldn’t tell me a thing about it. And boy did that hurt!

So duck-face is now out, and I want to be in. I want to, cause when you forgive someone, you tend to forget that they ever hurt you. And that’s what happened: He never hurt me.

I talked to him last night (via internet again, which I hate.) because I was about to go to bed. But it was my birthday. And I could not go to bed without him telling me happy birthday. Which seems ridiculous, I know. But when you fall in love someday, you’ll understand. So he did tell me happy birthday, and then I could go to bed. So I said “Goodnight, I love you.” And he said “‘Night.” And I was okay. I guess…

Enter Duck-face

It has been 23 days since I have really talked to him. I kind of did when my friend called him, but not really. And I have via internet means, but that doesn’t count. It’s been 23 days since I’ve seen him, and just as long since I’ve really talked to him.

Every time I call, he’s not home. And he never does call back. I could write him; It wouldn’t be the first time, that’s for sure.But what’s to say he won’t just throw it in the trash. I deserve better of course, I should just forget him. But what’s the fun in that?

P.S. It’s not that she’s not pretty, or that she seems like the worst G.T. out there, but she is just playing. She cares for him about as much as she does her new shoes. Please! And anyways, who still takes duck-face picture? Seriously? And, I’m sorry, but cursing is really unattractive. Really.

Enter Jane.

Let’s call her Jane for her sake at least. And she could have been named Jane and I would’ve totally been like, ‘yeah, she seems like a Jane.’

Okay, so she seemed really cool at first. I never met her, but I saw her around. She was like, exactly how I had always wanted to look, to act. And all of a sudden, she had him. I was supposed to have him, but suddenly she did. And I didn’t like that one bit.

So what do I do? I walk right up to them and I grab his hands and I kiss him on the cheek, tell him I love him, and walk away. And boy did she hate me right then! Well I apologized later when he told me that she was his girl friend, and how she was really upset, but she just brushed me off. So I really did think she hated me. But now…well, how about I just let you read the conversation we had the other day, how about that?

Me: ok so you probably already hate me, and i guess i cant blame you there, but if i dare to butt into your business, why arent you dating E. anymore? you dont have to tell me of you dont want to, and i can explain what i did if you want cause i never meant to hurt anyone. and yes im being nosey 😦 sorry

Jane: bc i felt like i was being pushed to date him and yeah i liked him but the fact everyone was pushing me made me not want to date him and its okayy i dont like to stay in the past and you dont have to explain if you dont want to. sorry if i sounded rude just then

Me:yes! ha I knew i like you 🙂 I could tell you really liked him, but i didnt know y’all were dating at first, and i guess i was a little jealous at first, with good reason. see, i guess ive kind of let myself become his back up plan for the past year. every times he breaks up he comes crawling back to me. and i let him play me, he tells me that he loves me and i believed him. friday night he asked me if i would kiss him, he had been asking me for awhile (long story short. very short) i jokingly said “wait and see” just to mess with him. but when i saw him with you idk i just did it cause he told me to. but yeah that was making the story as short as i could lol cause ive loved him for a year more or less, but he just keeps leaving me and it drives me crazy

Jane: woo i did not no that im sorry and hes not worth it if he is playing you girl dont let someone play you bc that means that you can do better and i dont like people getting played at all it makes me mad bc ive been played by the first guy i liked and i no how it feels

Me: thanks, and I know, but I’ve been through so much with him and for him, with his family, it’s like i cant just desert him now you know? Idk what to do…but God will show me in time, he always does

Well, we talked for a bit after that, and it felt very good to have her not hate me. But then again, there is still this new girl, who I am still very tempted to call a G.T. I know I shouldn’t…but have you seen her? Okay then.

My stale beginning

Ah, a fresh start! That’s what I always say right? But all of my “fresh starts” somehow turn out to be stale ends. Why stale, you ask? ‘Cause this game is getting really old. Really, really old. Stale. Boring. 

Boring?! Hardly!

Well, I’ve been played, and I’ve been a player. And a pretty good one at that. I wont bore you with the back story just yet, maybe someday. But not now. Now I’m just going to start with right here, right now. And if you are feeling down and depressed because your relationship is stale, come and read this blog and then maybe you will just laugh at me and feel better about yourself.

P.S. Who is this new girl he’s with, and more importantly, who does she think she is? If you have any idea, I would love to  know before I go ahead and label her a Gardening Tool.